Things I have learnt so far about the Maldives

I use some maths and metaphoric pedagogy in order to share with you the axioms of life here. FACTs indicate things where no view apart from the one expressed can possibly be true. Continue reading


My Second Picnic: Karl or Crusoe?

Hope you like dead skin with your rice, kids.

Hope you like dead skin with your rice, kids.

I have to say that on waking up I wasn’t in the best mood. Half of my shoulders was layed around me in my bed and I knew that moisturiser just couldn’t be applied on the go. With no bike, I walked to the rowing area, to catch the pickup truck. Rain spat down on my head as I went through the “this is familiar motions”. Continue reading

Oh dear, another picnic… Don’t you mean: C’mon Another Picnic!!!

Today I am embarking on another picnic. This time to the less exotic , but hopefully a lot drier, destination of “the bridge”, which is a pick-up truck’s drive away.

Here is a list of the things I plan on doing differently:

  • Sun cream up like I’m Ginger.
  • Pack thousands of plastic bags in case of heavy rain.
  • Don’t take any food, there will be plenty.
  • Bring an umbrella (for the sun, fools)
  • Assign someone the role of sun-cream applier at the beginning of the day and remind them of their duties at regular intervals.
  • Go to the toilet before the builders start work.
  • Eat a big breakfast, you never know when the big meal is going to drop in the day, but not too big because I need to make sure I can last until the builders finish work at 8pm.Image

I shall review my experience at the end of the day, hoping that practice really does make perfect, because if it doesn’t, I’m going to need another few bottles of aftersun….

Picnic Part 1: The Day I fulfilled my dream of becoming Karl Pilkington


British weather, why am I complaining?

This post will come in two halves, because this day was genuinely one of the longest day’s I’ve had in a long time, and there is plenty to grumble about. For starters, this is surely the only place in the world where you have to pack beach stuff, sun stuff and rain stuff all for one day out. Continue reading