Idiosyncrasies… in the Maldives

An amazing thing happened today. While Jerome and I were helping with some swimming classes at 6.30AM, three old men took a poo in the sea right next to us. The turds floated down to us and we had all the kids screaming “EEEEEWWWW A POOOOOOOOO” which was hilarious, but it set in motion the wheels and cogs of my mind: why are they pooing in the sea? Continue reading


Fresh (shark) meat… In the Maldives.

Jerome arrived yesterday looking a bit worse for wear, but grinning ear to ear just like the time he met his idol, Madonna, backstage at his 63rd and record-breaking UK concert. He was acutually proper knackered so after a quick pit stop for lunch he hit the (rock hard) sackĀ  to shift his jetlag. I gave hims some space and went for some night fishing, this time on a seven-hour stint. Continue reading

False truths… in the Maldives

Tomorrow, after so long being the “only white guy in the village” (not really now there are some Australians), I will be joined by a fellow coach, Jerome. Jerome and I are very good friends, and so I’m in reasonably good faith when I say that I’m pretty sure he will find a lot of the things here as funny as I do. I have also assumed that he won’t have minded me telling people a selection of the following mistruths whenever they have asked anything about him: Continue reading

Bedroom talk…in the Maldives

Now that I’ve arrived back in Addu, much has changed, much has stayed the same. A new girl has come into my life, Jessie, but more on that later. The weather, the food, the hunger for politics have all remained constant. What has changed is my housing situation. I have been moved to a location slightly further away from the rowing site. Where I live is a building site, very indie. Continue reading

Up in the air and then being an illegal…in the Maldives

Whenever I get on a plane, I tend to think about that bit at the beginning of Fight Club where Tyler Durden chats a bit about planes. He talks about how pointless the seatbelts are and how the brace position is only a technique established by the men in black to keep your teeth with your body for identification purposes after your plane has smacked a big rock. Continue reading

Plotting my return

I haven’t posted for over two weeks. My last few days in Male we so hectic and once I got home, the two-month Christmas build up that I had missed hit me with more calories and units of alcohol than I consumed in a week over there (two-months for alcohol…) in two days flat. By Boxing day it was hard to imagine that only three days previously I had been swanning around in a t-shirt and shorts, but then again it was equally as hard to imagine that in another three weeks I will once again be swanning around in a t-shirt and shorts. Continue reading